My son asked me why I show up the way I do with grandkids. He was wondering why I say this and that and never admonish or argue, even when he knows I do not agree or think like these young adults and younger yet, kids.

What an effortless response this was for me.

My job, role, and responsibility as a grandmother are to love my grandkids. Sure, when asked, I share opinions and experiences and funny things, but never a criticism passes my lips.

Not my job. My job is to live and act congruently in the person I am.

Recently I witnessed a parallel with this same principle.

An accident involving Yorkis, rear-ended and side-ended by another vehicle. No-fault of his except to be on the road.

Many questions were asked, and all were answered with total clarity by Yorkis. His actions were supported by the vehicle’s camera film.

Another driver in a white car did not pay attention and caused the collision. When an insurance adjuster admonished my driver, I was not happy. Because the truth was that the insurance company’s problem with Yorkis is that he is 18 years old. Too young, they believe in driving a company vehicle.

Do I agree with the insurance adjuster and confuse my driver? I did not criticize or yell, or correct. What I did was talk to Yorkis one-on-one and tell the story from the viewpoint of the insurance adjuster. I lead the conversation confidently, believing in who we are as a company and how often others may get it wrong.

And then, I sat back to evaluate our interaction. Questions, responses, Yorkis and myself, back and forth, asking and responding with respect and listening. And yes, asking questions and giving love telegraphs outside the family.

In a nutshell, asking questions and giving love shows up through voice, words, eyes, expressions, energy, and body language every time we speak. This makes me happy!

Think about it.



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Marleen Geyen

Marleen Geyen

The best part of me shows up in my writing about business ownership, leadership, family, personal relationships, travel and what I learn from human interaction.