More often than not, I get the question/message wrong. Someone asks a question, I respond and puff I misunderstood AGAIN! Back and forth, the words stream.

If only I could be the “fly on the wall” and observe how people behave and talk when I am not in the room, I would possibly understand the person’s dialogue, frame of reference, questions, and answers.

I think a lack of understanding of other people is a huge detriment. Do you? Do you think you always are right-on about getting the gist of what someone is saying? Do you always know what they mean when they are explaining their stuff?

Today, I am not talking about Spanish to English. No, this is English to English speaking.

When was the last time you sent a text, and the receiver totally misunderstood what you texted? Gotcha! It happens all the time, but if we were a “fly on the wall” during private conversations, explanations, business meetings, or family meetings, we would be years ahead in interpreting what is being said and meant. We would have the backstories.


But, since I am not a fly on the wall and am too big to make that work, I found a work-around option.

If we listen more intensely and learn to do serious listening with our eyes, ears, and whole body, we can drill down to what the sayer is saying.

So, how does this work in the real world?

In person, we look, watch, are conscious of body language and hear words with inflections and ask for more definition.

On zoom, we follow the rules as in-person and add careful attention to eye movement.

Text and messaging are more mysterious. This is the most difficult for me and where I mess up when I return a text or message. So I have begun to wait and reread and reread before I respond. Helps but hasn’t cured me yet of not getting it right.

Because this is important, I keep working on getting better, never perfect, but better than last year.

Seriously, since we cannot be a fly or two on the wall, take heart and apply the suggestions here.

Because honestly, clear communication changes lives.



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